Christening Gifts

"And who is going to be the Godfather?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

"I don't think you're really entering into the spirit of this baptism." (Minister to man wearing waders and waterproofs with umbrella).

Workman baptising his child J.C.B.

The Christening Party

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"I know he's in here somewhere!"

Early Piety

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'We're calling him Noah...'

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

"Do you mind, Mrs Trimble! I'm about to conduct a christening!"

"Ha ha! Too late!"

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

"Three 'a's, of course, in Barbara?"

"Maybe if we hold her under longer."

"Sinead?!"

"Amber."

"Crib, clothes, diapers, toys...All the good gifts on the registry are taken. There're only a few weird things left."

Frontispiece to Tristram Shandy.

Swearing a Child.

Slightly Mixed.

Boys watching a christening

The Bloomsbury Christening

Revolting Meanness!

"I name this child, Lovely, swampy, cars are evil, use public transport, stop the bypass,no to the link road, Fred"

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

"Let's not forget who's christening WHO,sonny boy!"

"Are you sure you want to call him Brexit?"