Chowder Champion Gifts

"It's Brooklyn clam chowder - you got a problem with that?"

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Cheese

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Cave Girl Slumber Parties

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Waiter, there's a potato bug in my New England clam chowder. You should have ordered the Manhattan clam chowder

'... and here's your Manhattan clam chowder, Sir.'

"What are we doing today?"

First Place Layabout

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

The Cheddar College for Extra Mature Students

'But toothache is the worst!'

' Police investigating the theft of sixty cases of custard powder have released this photofit of a man they'd like to question.'

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

Every dog except the chow has a pink tongue: The chow's tongue is jet black.

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

Little known evolutionary steps.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

'He calls it his Olympic legacy, he thought the games went on for 3 weeks.'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"