Chocolate Champion Gifts

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

'That's it, try to knock the thief out. . . with the out-of-date chocolate bars!'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

The Little Engine that really shouldn't, she already had one of Evelyn's cheesecake brownies, she couldn't possibly, O.K. maybe just one.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

'I don't mind if I spill vegetables, but I hate it when I spill dessert.'

Candy Shop and Al's Gym:'We have heart-shaped candies' - 'We fix pear-shaped bodies'.

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Hey Mom... we're all out of junk food!"

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

Dessert Storm Veteran

'1875 - Captain Matthew Webb becomes the first man to swim the English Channel.'

"Who let the dog get into the chocolate?"

The best baker in Bath!

"It just isn't Halloween unless you push your body to the brink of diabetes."

Don't binge and drive.

'...mix porridge oats, butter, and golden syrup...Rurghh!...then bake for fifteen minutes'?! Oh well, maybe next lifetime, Delia...'

Did anyone tell you you're a great cook?

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

A child hunting for Easter eggs finds alien eggs instead.

"How'd I get here?" "Well, you did say that the chocolate lava cake you had, covered with flecks of real gold, is to die for, right?" "Oh, yeah."

Candies and diet pills

Mouse Party

"I don't need to go trick or treat. I just ordered a bunch of candy on the internet."

"I think I OD'd On chocolate chip ice cream!"

'Another October 30, another failed Halloween candy sleepover.'