Sugar Champion Gifts

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Sweet surprise.

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Doughnut Making

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

I Bake. Deal with it.

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

'I don't mind if I spill vegetables, but I hate it when I spill dessert.'

"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."