Chopstick Champions T-Shirts

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

Chinese noodles.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

Starvation Watching

"You and your daft inventions."

Haute Chinese

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Year of the Rat

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"