Chopstick Juggler T-Shirts

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"You and your daft inventions."

Haute Chinese

Year of the Rat

Have Horns Venn

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

"They won't work!!!"

Mozart eating noodles with chopsticks

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'I love working with my hands.'

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

'Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks or you don't.'

"Hide all the chopsticks."

Chinese noodles.

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

'Yes, it takes a little while to learn to handle chopsticks!'

'I really am losing weight on the chinese diet...I use only one chopstick.'

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

The Battle Between Television and Books

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

"It's from my wife. Honeydos."