Chopstick Maestro T-Shirts

"Your prowess with chopsticks is first class, William, but this is an Italian restaurant..."

Haute Chinese

Patissier

"You and your daft inventions."

Year of the Rat

Pollsters

'Where are the kids?'

Nest building

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

As space walking astronaut vacuums dust particles: 'Houston, we see to have the cosmic dust problem under control.'

"They won't work!!!"

Mozart eating noodles with chopsticks

'Embarrassing me won't get you out of 'fondue night' Harold!'

We are on the move. . .

"Ken Kesey left us the recipe in his will."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'You win.'

"The catch is you only get one chopstick"

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

Erich Leinsdorf.

Cubicle Chess

Carpenter

Chinese noodles.

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

'Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks or you don't.'

"Hide all the chopsticks."

'As you can see from these full-colour charts, we're spending a lot of money on toner.'

'Yes, it takes a little while to learn to handle chopsticks!'

'The champ's gone soft since he lost to that computer.'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'