Chopstick Challenger T-Shirts

'Yes, it takes a little while to learn to handle chopsticks!'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

'I really am losing weight on the chinese diet...I use only one chopstick.'

"They won't work!!!"

A man eating vegetable roll with chopsticks

"We'd like a table overlooking two chairs"

Early Chopsticks

'Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks or you don't.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

"You and your daft inventions."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Lawnmower

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Haute Chinese

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Year of the Rat

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Mozart eating noodles with chopsticks

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

Spring cleaning.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

'Checkmate!'

Chi Kick

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."