Chopstick Champions Gifts

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

Chinese noodles.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

Haute Chinese

"You and your daft inventions."

"I'm sorry madam, we're right out of Mississippi mud pie. All that's left is the Severn sludge souffle."

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Year of the Rat

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

Ball and Chain

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."