Chocoholic Gifts

'I'm usually a basket case at this time of year...'

'Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

Chocolate factory workers on the job - one with his face covered with chocolate - 'Your first day on the job...?'

'You're everything I ever wanted in a man... tall, dark, handsome, and most importantly... made of solid chocolate.'

"The doctor said I need more calcium, so I'm switching from dark to milk chocolate."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

Toblerone - Toblertwo.

'How now, brown cow?'

"There's choclate smeared all over your manuscript! Have these figures been fudged?!"

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

'Why me... every time ?'

Health food.

"She'll love this perfume. It smells like chocolate."

Just one more choccy...

"My parents are always complaining about my sweet tooth, but do they ever have a nice word to say about my wisdom tooth?"

Confectionery: All Chocolate Bars At Least 20% Smaller Than When You Were A Kid.

Self Service, Self Denial

'My husband says you can't live on chocolate alone, but I don't think he's ever really tried.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

'I like my chocolate the same way I like my men ...rich!'

'Mom's on a diet, so we might as well get the kind we like.'

"This is what you call doing what you love."

Lenten Sweet Shoppe: All You Can't Eat.

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

A balanced diet is a chocolate bar in each hand!

'White chocolate, so you can't see the chocolate in the corners of our mouths. . . it's an old beauty trick.'

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

'I would like you to prescribe some diet pills for me - chocolate coated with creme centres.'

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

'No chocolate?! What kind of place has no chocolate?'

'The invention of the decade? The person who invented low fat chocolate!'

Chocolate Advent Calendar