Chirp Lover Gifts

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Ornithologist

Chorister's Loose Teeth

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Heaven

A family choir

A singer being criticised

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"The Choir Director's out sick, so they're all a but lost."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

Surprised cook.

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"These choir robes are so hot, I'm glad I went commando."

Sport Darwinism

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

"I just don't feel like you value my role as associate pastor."

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

"Sssay, you're a real charmer!"

Maraschino, Inc.

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"

"Freudian Slip"