Crisp Lover Gifts

'More chips, Dale?' - 'Sure. . . I can't stop eating 'em!'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Welcome Spring.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Full English Breakfast.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

All-Day Breakfast

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

"Apparently the wee pancake by itself had been breakfast."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Choice hellhole

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

Happy St Pancakes Day

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."