Chinese Restaurant Fan Gifts

Misfortune cookies

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

Love is in the air...

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"What did Jesus order?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I really don't know why we bother coming here - the food's always crap.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

Nouveau wine

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'