Childlike Gifts

Count Mario Franzelli hadn't really grasped what a playboy did.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'He's maturing early.'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Tree house.

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Recess does things to a man."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

Oh, no

Serious Putty

National Museum of Refrigerator Art.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Playground Pipe Dreams

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

He wanted a different one.

"Use your inside scream."

'But you said to clean my room.'