Childlike Humor Fan Gifts

"Hey, Mister, can my dog play with one of your tennis balls?"

Suffering from Cooties?

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'I want you to bring me one.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

Toilet humour

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."

"Everyone relax. I've just downloaded the 'Find-Your-Remote' app."

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

'...Just like Daddy!'

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."