Childhood Humor Fan Gifts

Official Electro-Charged Wedgie-Resistant Underpants

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Suffering from Cooties?

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'I want you to bring me one.'

"Young man, you go march your butt right back up those stairs and don't come down until you've made yourself look presentable!"

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

Cleaning up space junk.

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"I hope you've had your shots!"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

Toilet humour

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."