Childhood Humor Lovers Gifts

STRIP Racing children upset by starter gun

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"I'm training him."

Feeding the baby

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"There's definitely enough growing room."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

"Mom feeds you the other way round? Come on, worms are worms. Now open your beaks, you brats!"

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'Whatever Dad: I don't give a hoot!'

Ig and Igloo

'Alice, you're not wearing the bat ears I made you int he tub, are you?'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

"Stripes are very unfashionable."

"For someone who doesn't have a job, I sure have a lot of bosses."

'Did you hear about the fool who goes around saying no all the time?'

'Dad, what's an Eunuch?'