Childhood Humor Lovers Gifts

STRIP Racing children upset by starter gun

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"I'm training him."

Feeding the baby

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"There's definitely enough growing room."

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'Don't worry about me, mom, I'll be fine as long as you keep working!'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Mom feeds you the other way round? Come on, worms are worms. Now open your beaks, you brats!"

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

Ig and Igloo

'Alice, you're not wearing the bat ears I made you int he tub, are you?'

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

'Whatever Dad: I don't give a hoot!'

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'Yes, bedwetting can be an issue, but there's no need to make a big deal of it...'

"Gee, Mom, these people don't make ME sick."

'Some days it's hard to keep one step ahead of them.'

"Stripes are very unfashionable."

"For someone who doesn't have a job, I sure have a lot of bosses."