Childlike T-Shirts

Count Mario Franzelli hadn't really grasped what a playboy did.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'He's maturing early.'

Tree house.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Use your inside scream."

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

Playground Pipe Dreams

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Serious Putty

'But you said to clean my room.'

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'