Childhood Musings Gifts

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Haircuts

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'He's maturing early.'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Tree house.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Bike Rides

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Men explained.

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Serious Putty

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"Use your inside scream."