Childhood Ponderings Gifts

'If birds reproduce by laying eggs, what's this BIRDSEED stuff all about?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

Playing in a stream.

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

'What do you like about her?'

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

Man with a big question

'Yeah, but that's life!'

"When I was growing up, my parents only ever gave me two choices for everything I did: The carrot or the stick..."

"Wow! You've got free-range children."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

'Are you the opposite sex, or am I?'

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

"We think he needs more individual neglect."

'You can't win -- Just when you get good at the third grade, they put you in the fourth!'

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today, everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grader means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanted to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

'Where did we go wrong...?'

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

"I got acquainted with a new kid and now we understand each other."

"Families depress me."