Childhood Ponderings Gifts

'If birds reproduce by laying eggs, what's this BIRDSEED stuff all about?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

Playing in a stream.

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

Man with a big question

'What do you like about her?'

"When I was growing up, my parents only ever gave me two choices for everything I did: The carrot or the stick..."

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

"Wow! You've got free-range children."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

'Are you the opposite sex, or am I?'

"We think he needs more individual neglect."

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

'You can't win -- Just when you get good at the third grade, they put you in the fourth!'

"Sorry, but you can't be friends with a page! Pages become squires, then knights: our mortal enemies!"

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'

'Where did we go wrong...?'

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

"Families depress me."

"I got acquainted with a new kid and now we understand each other."