Pediatric Ponderings Gifts

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

A midwife holding a baby

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Dad, what is peace?'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

The Children's Hospital

The big life questions that really get us thinking.

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

'He's just experiencing a growth spurt'

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"I'd like a second opinion. He followed me home, can I keep him?"

Social Distancing

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

This prescription doesn't have side efets. It's more like straight to the top and straight to the bottom.

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"You awake?"

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'