Motherhood Musings Gifts

Mom: 'Do I have to repeat myself again, again & again? girl: 'yes, yes, & yes!'

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"He either has a great hand or I have unresolved feelings about my mother."

"I've just realized that the nagging little voice inside her head that she'll hear for the rest of her life is mine."

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

"It's wearing me out. Dirty clothes, fussy eating..and then with our first baby on the way."

Men explained.

Having a heart to heart talk with your daughter about sex and finding she knows more than you do phobia.

'An oil spill in the YARD?'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Open other end

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

Child on a schedule.

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

"That's the cereal I want Mommy... Sugar cubes!"

Single parents.

"Mom usually chews it up for us."

'She's the primary caregiver!'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Working Moms

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'