Childhood Classicists Gifts

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Venus

'Where was the TSA?'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Archimedes statue with a lever

Playdough's The Republic

"You're welcome."

A surprise in heaven

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

'Caesar salad?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Souvenirs.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Romans.

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'