Childhood Classicists T-Shirts

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Venus

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Archimedes statue with a lever

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

'Where was the TSA?'

Playdough's The Republic

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

"You're welcome."

A surprise in heaven

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

"I miss the Augean stables."

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Caesar salad?'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Souvenirs.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Romans.

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'