Childcare Warrior Gifts

Still having problems finding day care?'

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

"You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today."

Children's Parties

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Cry babies.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Interior design trends for parents....

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Chez Nous Menu

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

Baby pram as a tank

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

Coping with a strong-willed child

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"I'm bored."