Childbirth Comedienne Pillows

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Uterus: One size fits all.

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Womb for Kids

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

'Are you sure it's not out of your way?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

'Alright, I'll join you for dinner later and I'll bring wine: Red or White with this type of dung?'

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

"The Remote."