Childbirth Charmers Pillows

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

Cry babies.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

Baby Hairstyles.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

Maternity Ward

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"Which one is yours?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'Fellas, I have a bit of an emergency! My wife is in labor! Mind if we play through?'

"Which one's yours?"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Open other end

Clown Delivering Babies.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"