Childbirth Charmers Pillows

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

Cry babies.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

Baby Hairstyles.

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

Open other end

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

"Which one is yours?"

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Which one's yours?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'