Child Support Officer Gifts

"...Then I suggest that you give me the real father's address."

Online form - Submit.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Communication

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Summer Outing Planning

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

Warring parents

Guide Dogs

Sweet Jailbreak

Sharon Shoesmith unlawfully sacked.

"We had to hire extra help for our help desk."

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

Proud Mum.

Violence against children.

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"Because we're a family, that's why. You set the table I dial the phone, and your father orders the chinese food."

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in Korea, customer support will be run from Mumbai and logistics handled in Vietnam."

'There was an old lady who had so many children she didn't know what to do, especially about college tuition.'