Child Support Officer T-Shirts

"...Then I suggest that you give me the real father's address."

Online form - Submit.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

Communication

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Summer Outing Planning

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

Warring parents

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

Proud Mum.

Guide Dogs

"We merged to save through volume buying."

"We had to hire extra help for our help desk."

Violence against children.

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

Sweet Jailbreak

Sharon Shoesmith unlawfully sacked.

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"Because we're a family, that's why. You set the table I dial the phone, and your father orders the chinese food."

'There was an old lady who had so many children she didn't know what to do, especially about college tuition.'