Child Support Issues Gifts

"At what point did you realize your ex-husband was behind on his child support?"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Wanna talk about it?

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'In case of computer crash' (break the glass).

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

Keystone XL

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"I hope that wish list you just sent to Santa wasn't too big." "Our server just crashed!"

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Warring parents

Sweet Jailbreak

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."