Child's School Admission Gifts

"Guess who got into Hotchkiss!"

"- Another internship, and he will surely be admitted to our kindergarten."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

Boho Bribes

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

Letting Go

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

'Yes, dad, I mis-spoke my math grade, covered-up my reprimand from the dean, and cheated on an English quiz, but I'm getting an A in political science.'

"We help the student qualify for one of the major tutoring centers."

"She's so smart...on the highway of life, she's in the E-Z Pass lane."

"Today in school we studied the great works of antiquity - the pyramids, the coliseum, the abandoned shopping mall on Route 6."

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"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

Relax! The college process need not be stressful! Staying calm actually helps your child cope. Parents' night. Top colleges are brutally competitive. Even state universities are rejecting excellent students. I'm relaxed. Me too!

'Mommy and Daddy have taken care of the high cost of private school tuition. The rest is up to you.'

Beggar's sign: 'children at university.'

Two bills for college tuition

"Mummy, Daddy, Fred! I've been accepted into dentistry school!"

'Congratulations son! You've got into your first choice school.'

"Dylan needs a classroom where I don't have to talk to any of the other mothers."