Child's College Application Gifts

Last Parent Trying To Get Child Into College

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Contest to enter the University

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

'There was an old lady who had so many children she didn't know what to do, especially about college tuition.'

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'