Chicken Enthusiast Gifts

"I think you need to work on your pelvic floor exercises, dear!"

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

"Or research has proved that the chicken came not just before the egg, but before anything else in the known universe."

"Okay, now what?"

'Go ahead. If you make it across, they'll be telling your story for years.'

"They're not just my eggs. They're your eggs, too."

Missing.

'Well, yes, we are having you for dinner this evening, and, no, you don't have to bring wine!'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

'I've struggle with weight problems since birth. I was a 'Jumbo' egg.'

'I do my own thing.'

A hen pushes a egg carton on wheels containing her chicks.

'Cheer up, Mr. Little. It's not like it's the end of the world.'

'With daylight savings time starting this weekend, I now have to get up an hour earlier to crow.'

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

"Pecking order's not what it used to be."

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

'They're all by different dads.'

"Admit it, Mary. You've been having hot flashes, again, haven't you?"

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'So tell me more about this crossing the road obsession?'

Chicken Séance,

Chicken: the one-man show

"I was hoping you'd have outgrown that by now."

"… and you say it happens every year at about this time?"

'It's just not right! We're girls, we need our own rooms!'

Entry-level positions at KFC.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

The First Frozen Embryos.

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

The Delusional World of the Free-Range Chicken

'In school today, I learned about the pecking order!'