Chicane Chatter Gifts

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

"We had him neutered,"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I'm good thanks."

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

"You turned all night long!"

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"I realise you're used to talking to me on the chat line, but would you mind not moving your fingers like you're typing everytime you say something."

'He promised me the moon, But hey, it's just green cheese, right?'

"It's nothing personal. Max just happens to be allergic to most brands of litter."

'Carol, do you understand how your obsession with internet chat rooms might make Frank uncomfortable?... Carol??'

larson you're a genius

Well, of course, the eggs are fresh this morning.