Cat Chatter Gifts

"We had him neutered,"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"It's nothing personal. Max just happens to be allergic to most brands of litter."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Police Feline Unit

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Biofelineism

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

Children's Feast.

Cat Towels

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Unemotional Support Animal

"Damn! - I slept right through my afternoon nap today. . ."

Cats and gardens.

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

Litter Tray Training

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'He's not supposed to go out.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Cat Reunion

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned: