Cheese Chatter Gifts

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

'He promised me the moon, But hey, it's just green cheese, right?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

The Running of the Brie

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Sandwich snob.

The Perfect Garden.

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Voting on their Seats

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

Milk For Sale!! Low Prices!! No Middlemen!

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

And that's how to make cheese fondue!

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

"We had him neutered,"

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'