Cheese Chatter Pillows

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

'He promised me the moon, But hey, it's just green cheese, right?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

The Running of the Brie

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

Sandwich snob.

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

The Perfect Garden.

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

Milk For Sale!! Low Prices!! No Middlemen!

"BOL means Barking Out Loud."

And that's how to make cheese fondue!

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"We had him neutered,"

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"He said his first word today - pubbies!"