Retro Chit Chatter Pillows

"Fine, desert me and go back to your computers, but I'm warning you...you blogging is killing good old fashioned water cooler chit chat!"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Before social media there was sticky notes.

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

Luddite Zoom.

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

Online Dating

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"We had him neutered,"

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

1804: Early Social Networking

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

When I was your age we used drugs, but they were acne medications.

"You've got one of my dresses on again."

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

"I really got to hand it to you, Danny!"