Serial Chatter Pillows

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Hot Line

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"We had him neutered,"

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

Online Dating

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"This is the wine talking."

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'