Serial Chatter Pillows

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

Hot Line

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

Online Dating

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"We had him neutered,"

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

"This is the wine talking."