Chessboard Philosopher Gifts

"Pawn to King Four."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

Boring Board Meeting

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'Gentlemen we need more growth.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"I'll grip but I won't grin."