Chessboard Philosopher Gifts

"Pawn to King Four."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

Boring Board Meeting

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Gentlemen we need more growth.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'