Chess Humorist Gifts

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

"Your move."

Gary turns 40.

Smoke and mirrors.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Are you going to move?"

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

Out and In.

"The thing with Sudoku is I can never find the right words to fit."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Tennis Player.

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

'It started as just as skirmish, your majesty, and suddenly escalated into a hockey game!'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."