Chess Humorist Gifts

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

Gary turns 40.

Smoke and mirrors.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"Are you going to move?"

Out and In.

"The thing with Sudoku is I can never find the right words to fit."

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

Tennis Player.

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

'When all else fails, try doing it the way the boss told you.'

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

'It started as just as skirmish, your majesty, and suddenly escalated into a hockey game!'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

Man singing note at doctor.