Chess Comedian Gifts

"Are you going to move?"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Gary turns 40.

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

Prawn Amend

Antler Buzzers.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Bored Baker

Chess on TV

Pawn Stars

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

Trojan Chess

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Chess player looking dazed playing computer,"He's crashed."

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

Cat chess

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

'Despite it's dominance at chess, our computer just plain stinks at charades.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

The chess pieces that fell off the chequered flag

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."