Chess Comedian Gifts

"Are you going to move?"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Gary turns 40.

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

Antler Buzzers.

Prawn Amend

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Bored Baker

Chess on TV

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

Trojan Chess

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

Pawn Stars

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Chess player looking dazed playing computer,"He's crashed."

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

Cat chess

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Despite it's dominance at chess, our computer just plain stinks at charades.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

'Timeout! ... Coaching change.'