Cherry Pit Champion Gifts

"Yes, it could only be Jesus! No one else was such a master at cherry pit spitting!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Maraschino, Inc.

'To the only thing that matters - BASEBALL!'

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

Chi Kick

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

"Do you believe in ghost peppers?"

'Without you as a friend, I'd be a hopeless drunk by now'

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

In the beginning: Ed thought life was a bowl of cherries...

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

Heating costs.

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

"School of hard knocks"

'It's not fair, how come you've got two carrots and four cherries?'

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

Supermarket traffic lights.

"I think I OD'd On chocolate chip ice cream!"

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."