Cherry Pit Champion Gifts

"Yes, it could only be Jesus! No one else was such a master at cherry pit spitting!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"Do I have to eat the cherry?"

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'I thought she'd never leave.'

Maraschino, Inc.

'To the only thing that matters - BASEBALL!'

Little known evolutionary steps.

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

"Do you believe in ghost peppers?"

'Without you as a friend, I'd be a hopeless drunk by now'

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

In the beginning: Ed thought life was a bowl of cherries...

Chi Kick

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

"I think I OD'd On chocolate chip ice cream!"

Heating costs.

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

Supermarket traffic lights.

"School of hard knocks"

'It's not fair, how come you've got two carrots and four cherries?'

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."