Chips Champ Gifts

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'I don't like to take chances.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Monkey casino study.

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

'Fantastic! With this new microchip we can build PCs ten times more powerful than today's, that won't sell at Christmas either!'

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

A man carves a totem pole

Man fishing and eating potato chips Title: 'Fish and Chips'

It's fun being bad with dad.

'But toothache is the worst!'

"Careful...she bites."

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

'Chew each bite ten times? †I'm a busy man!'

Sign on the door at Karate School.

Chinese noodles.

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

OUT of ORDER

"Waiter, these chopsticks are not cooperating."

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

'I'm not very hungry - just bring me some chopsticks.'

"I think I OD'd On chocolate chip ice cream!"

"King me!"

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."

"I'm giving up my diet for Lent."

Grooming Tips

"My wife has a black belt in cooking, she can kill a man with a single chop."