Chemistry Fan Gifts

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"We're with the Periodic Table."

Electrolyte Orchestra

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

Holy Water

'T.Radfield Burke, chemist, is the only person in all of science who does not have a theory about the extinction of the dinosaurs.'

Protoplasm

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

"I didn't know how a magnesium strip reacted to heat until it came to me in a blinding flash. . ."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Is it that bad?"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Sexual chemistry set

Think Tank

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Science Fair Judgements

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

"Mom lets me eat my fill of junk food as long as I can pronounce all the chemical ingredients."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Sir Isaac Newton wondered how he couldexplain this! (Pineapple)

Employment recruitment aptitude test

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Free Radicals.

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Entropy.