Cheerful Pretenders Pillows

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Back to the Holidays

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

Children in a Nursery.

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"So there's this big Mother...."

Hide and Seek

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

Plagiarism

"I'm feeling generous."

Modern animal communication

"Because we're jerks."

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

'Peabody, Yomp, Lee, Brodski & Dirkshaw...buddies since 4th grade.