Cheeky Imbiber Gifts

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Watch him-he's drinking on an empty wallet.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Redhead

"Quick swig first?"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Sticking out tongue

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

"Your dump or mine..?"

Library - Cats for Dummies.

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Book ratings.

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"You awake?"

Clean Fill Wanted

Wine-O'Clock

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'Have you a moment sir?...A: Yes; B: No; or C: Naff off?'

I've started so I'll finish...