Cheeky Imbiber Gifts

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Watch him-he's drinking on an empty wallet.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Redhead

"Quick swig first?"

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Sticking out tongue

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Your dump or mine..?"

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Library - Cats for Dummies.

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

Book ratings.

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

Wine-O'Clock

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"You awake?"

Clean Fill Wanted

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."