Lighthearted Imbiber Gifts

I've started so I'll finish...

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

Redhead

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"So tell me about your last poop."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"Does this make us three sheets to the wind or four?"

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

Heaven is...

'I warned them. I said, if you allow one fan to scatter the ashes of loved ones, it's just going to open the floodgates.'

'It's one way to boost the numbers.'

Wine-O'Clock

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

"We've changed 'Happy Hour' to 'An Interlude for Reflection'."

"Call me!"

"I feel helpless."

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'

'Watch him-he's drinking on an empty wallet.'

Holy Spirit.

'Pull up your pants, Al. You're showing more cleavage than I am.'

'So this is your idea of making things more fun in the bedroom?'