Thrifty Imbiber Gifts

'How did I fill all this in for only $75.00? Easy, I only collect corked wines.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Redhead

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"Is that neat whisky?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"How much if I pedal?"