Faithful Imbiber Gifts

'It's one way to boost the numbers.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Men's Prayer Group.

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Pope Francis

Decisions a Pope makes

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'